First things first.
I want Siti Syahirah Binte Ishak to cheer up.
Second, I want Hot Chocolate.
Third, I want HOT CHOCOLATEEEE :DDD Why? Because I'm really thirsty right now. :P

Shitzxzxzxz!

I. Am. So. Freakin'. Screwed.
Parent Teacher Meeting is just tomorrow and I'm kind of not looking forward to what the teachers are gonna say about my behaviour in class and how my academic results are.
Okay, I so far, have no behavioural problems youknow. I'm really a very timid person. (NOT.) Oh fine. Yes, I do talk quite a lot in class but, yeah. I am just pretty scared.

Never mind, EOY's. EOY's.
I know i can do it, though. :D See. Confidence la!
Grrr.
So, today was just Awesome.
Had Angklung after school and guess what? We're all performing for the ASEAN- thingy.
I totally cannot wait.
Because when that day happen, loads of pictures will be up on this blog. (kay ah. Not loads but some because I like chosing nice pictures)
Like, I'm so super excited.

I am already hungry.
I'll go food hunting now. (:

-my toes are cute.
* Relek uh. Mine cuter.
- your eyes sepet, my eyes besar.
my leg so cute. your leg so besar.
mata kecik sangat later bang into walls. -.-
okay, what am i saying?

But still? HAHA. Your eyes sepet! Unlike mine, SEPET :P

Okay, want to eat already. Hungry.



should be able to.

I'm in-charge of the music class' Facebook page. How interesting.
Ohmy, Friday's Results Day and I am so not looking forward to it! My results are super a-hole terrible and it's just not worth looking at. Hope i will get over the fact that I'm a total 'failure'.
Okay, okay. No, Qazimah! You should never say that about yourself. It's bad to. Gosh, goshhyyy good. Oh wells.

Hm, so... I'm currently listening to The Veronicas... The whole of the old CD, The Secret Life Of The Veronicas. Some of their songs are just plain hilarious. Listen to Track 5, entitled Secret. It's about this guy who's obsessed over a girl and that girl has always had the thought of him as a gay. HAHA.
I'm just listening to The Veronicas to cheer myself up. And I hope by the time all the songs end, I'll be all cheered up. Hope so, at the very least. Hee.

Oh, gonna be listening to F*** You by Lily Allen later and Not Fair also.
Whoa, Lily Allen's one hot, dirty woman :D

I got that particular 'OMG' Necklace and that black-ribbon hairclip. I wanted so badly already. I am happy... Well, only for that two reasons though. ;P
I need to go shopping la! I still need floral dresses. Oh wait! I knowwww, I will go shop for an LBD with Zahrah. Can can can? (:
I need dresses so bad (And that includes mini-dresses ah)
And glossy leggings to pair up with. Okay, maybe not for floral dresses cos floral dresses don't exactly match with glossy leggings but for some other clothing that will match with it.

Butttttt, i don't think I can spend my June Holidays bonding with my friends or family much because there will always be school stuck in between the holidays. How shitty can it get? Can't they mean what they say? When it's holiday, it is supposed to be holiday. Not extra classes stuck in betweeeen! It also means, rest. rest. rest, right? Urgh.
I malas already la... But i'll endure uh. Holidays coming already. I shall be patient and wait and wait and waitzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx - NOT. -.-"

Had class cleaning today and the class actually bonded. Like, really.
I for the first time, became so rajin and i swept the class floor, wiped the windows and got bullied by Afiq. Chey! Kidding :P

I've pictures to upload. A lot of pictures in my camera but i'm too lazy.

Ah shit. P.E tomorrow. Dread it. Pffffffttttt!

I shall have no emo posts about things and myself... today. Time for Qazimah to get over emotions.
And stop being soooooo nice to people.

My blog is so boring right?
Go press the 'X' down there kay.



i don't wanna be lonely anymore.

Didn't attend school today.
Too tired of everything and I need my rest.
And if you noticed, I deleted yesterday's post because I hated it. I totally wasn't myself yesterday and I let everything affect me. I needed so badly to talk someone but no one was there. I mean, I needed to talk to someone by hearing their voices not by texting.
I called people but none picked up. Nadhirah's makcik-talked with me through text yesterday night and yes, that cheered me up.
I need someone to talk to... even now. But everyone seem so down and so busy.
And i shouldn't be ruining their day.

I need to go shopping. I want an ITouch. And go dress-shopping. Everything in Malls are so 'tempting!' Grrr.

Ah. And some people just can't keep to their words neither promises and that sucks. Like, it seriously does. And even I, don't keep to my words when i say i would, sometimes. Cos I talk too much and words will come out and that's when accidents happen.
I still feel the guilt inside of me though.
I feel so bad.
Akmal, you told me to let go but i still feel terrible cos you said it meant something and i got what you meant and i feel bad... Super bad. I still do.
Sorry, sorry. D;
GAH. I don't know la whats up with me. I just have this guilt in me, still.
Just so you know, you've been a great friend, Akmal and I'm sorry. (:

Zahrah, I've ditched you like, oh-so-many times. I was hoping we could catch up with each other on Sunday but you went off. And I did not have the chance to talk to you at all. ):


I still feel the guilt!
Oh, shitz.





i am only foolin' myself,

My day started with Arab and Tauhid Papers on my small little table that I wasn't able to sleep on. Yes, had Madrasah Exams today and it was just annoying. The whole Madrasah had to be in one big class and I noticed that there are a lot of different types of people in this one madrasah. Different types of cliques and everything. And the girls talk to the guys... The guys talk to the girls and people in the madrasah get along quite well and that's just awesome.

Okay, so this guy named Shyami added me on Facebook and I thought that he was my friend. So i told him to add me online and just as we were talking online, something in me told me to make sure that it was the right person that I was talking to and so,


QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:34 PM):
Wait, you're my friend, Syahmi kan?
QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:34 PM):
Sorry. Tgh confused.
QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:34 PM):
HAHA.
SYAAAAAHMI WHAAAAT ? (hawt) says (2:35 PM):
haha i think you got the wrong person
SYAAAAAHMI WHAAAAT ? (hawt) says (2:35 PM):
HAHAHA
SYAAAAAHMI WHAAAAT ? (hawt) says (2:38 PM):
wait you are the girl from pasir ris right ?
QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:38 PM):
no!
QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:38 PM):
Now, you got the wrong person!
SYAAAAAHMI WHAAAAT ? (hawt) says (2:39 PM):
OUH SHIT
QAZIMAH ; WE MAKE THE CITY STREETS OUR RUNWAY says (2:39 PM):
HAHAHAHA.
SYAAAAAHMI WHAAAAT ? (hawt) says (2:39 PM):
hahahahahahahha.

I feel that I'm now distancing myself from a lot of people and I don't know why.
Everything's not the same anymore.
Oh! I just wished I had a perfect friendship.
You know, like the ones on T.V? But nah. Television's a facade unlike how reality lives are.
I will honestly say that I'm sick, super super sick of everything that's happening.
I need someone to talk to. I need someone who knows me like, super well, to talk to.
I hate being emotional. I mean, who does, right? I don't know what's happening now, anymore.
It's my thinking, it's my thinking... it is. But, it's not. It's happening in front of my very eyes. Everything's happening in front of me. How can I ever say that it is all my mentality when it is not? D'ya know how sucky it is to be alone and knowing that no one cares?

I really missed my secondary one and two lives. They were easy. Easy to go through, easy stuff learned... Everything... easy. But as i get older, I know that I have to go through a whole lot more than what I am currently going through now in life, at almost fifteen. I don't think I'm ready to face changes, challenges and all of that. But everything now, just sort of put me on the spot. I feel helpless going through it alone. Yes, i have friends to turn to but, i cannot depend on them every single time when i have a problem, can i? Like, they have their lives too, they have their own problems... I don't wanna be a bother.

I feel like, I'm carrying the load of the world on my shoulders.
I don't get this feeling. I feel so alone now and terribly dumb. And just. Why else can I do?
Can i like, cry?
Should I let things be the way they are now or change them?

I'm really, really sorry for the very emotional things i've typed out but that is how i feel.
Yes, if you are tired of reading, get out kay, go away.
I don't mind if i don't have any readers because this is about me and my life.

OKAY, BIATCHES. I JUST CRIED.
&@&@^#!

I'M TIRED OF IT ALL.
I'M TIRED.
I'M TIRED.

I dont know why!

SHIT.

Faliq said Selena and Taylor Lautner don't look good tgt. HAH. 0:
And Akmal, i'm really, really sorry. I still feel bad. ):

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart,
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart?
Gotta pick myself up where do I start?
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart,
Don't know who my real friends are anymore...
I put my faith in you,
What a stupid thing to do.
Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'cause it just seems to go bad everytime?
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again.

This old song from the veronicas reflects alot, huh.

I think today's post is gonna be rather... mundane.
I've got my Maths and English results back. Maths? Sigh. My hard work just wasn't paid off. What an arse. Math's a bitch, I'm just never good at it.
Shall not elaborate further on that.
English was quite alright. The marking was a little strict but well, I passed with an A. But, am still not satisfied of the results I got. Like, the numbers weren't the numbers i expected it to be.
Never mind. There's still End-Of-Years to look forward to. I should totally buck up.
I'll try motivate myself to study, kay. I will. Oh, Will try to, at the very least.

Had some malay-motivational talk at the AVA today about Changes and a lot more...
Changes. Since it was about Changes, I told myself to actually listen to the whole talk no matter how boring it gets... But, no. It wasn't at all boring. It didn't make me want to go to sleep, it didn't make me yawn non-stop but listen to the whole entire thing.

It made me realize that, everyone has their own thing that they have to go through but it's only up to them to make it hard or easy.
We're all human, we all make mistakes and we do know that apologizing sometimes isn't enough for a person to accept but we have to. Because if you do not give that particular person chances to change, who will? But If the person doesn't wanna change despite your talks, despite you telling them to stick to their tracks, let them be. They'll soon realize how much a friendship can mean so much. That's what i learnt... To let go. To really, really let go.

I wish I was four again. I wish I was four, wearing my Kindergarten uni and having knee high socks and a long pleated skirt and crying non-stop. My mum having to drag me to Kindergarten every morning. I dread school and that point of time. I didn't see the need of attending such a school. But i now knew that Kindergarten was the first step into socializing, the first step of how a school is going to be. The first friends you've ever made, ever.
A first everything when Kindergarten starts.
I wish I was four again and I wish we could have this PAP reunion thingy.
I really wish to see everyone. Nurulashikin, Zafirah, Siti Zubaidah, Anis Fazianah, Adeline, Caroline, Shahrul Shawal, Muhd Ashraf, Muhd Hanafi, Putera and loads more.

I wish I was seven again.
In Temasek Primary. I was the only girl, according to my dear bestfriend who cried so bad and that dear bestfriend had to confide me and make me stop crying. I used to be in 1c and my teacher was Mrs K.L Leong? Yeah. She shouts a lot and her screams made me cry so much that my textbook'd be soaked with my tears. No kidding! Her screamings are just scarily awesome.
I wish I was there at the canteen, Temasek Primary's canteen.
From what my bestfriend told me, I cried when we, as a group were late for Mother Tongue class because we all got scolded. I cried and bestfriend had to stop me from crying.
My brother then came to the resuce. Chey!
And that teacher favours my brother a lot.

I miss bestfriend.


I almost cried yesterday listening to the whole convo about the old times bestfriend told me. I loved the old times. It was just precious.


Okay, I cannot stop smiling now... the old times.
Sigh. How sad. ):


let's reverse.

I'm pissed. I'm disappointed.
I'm disappointed in myself and the people i fully trust. I tried being patient but I think that being patient makes it all worse... No, i do not want to burst.
But when I say I miss someone, I really mean it.
I miss someone, right now.
That best friend of mine.
The friend whom I trust.
Yes, I understand that friend is really busy with a whole lot of things.
That friend has things to do but please have the tendency to do some balancing act.
Because you don't know how much I miss you, do you friend?
I'm tired of breaking down.
What happened to all those fun talks we'd have and you cheering me up whenever I'm down? I'll get happy that i get to talk to you because we don't talk often, why?
Because you are busy. Always, always busy.
I know you love what you do. I understand, that's like... your dream.
But, what about the people who would wanna hang with you?
The people who miss you bad?
Please think about this. I know we don't meet often and I sometimes get pissed at you for suddenly talking to me because I kept the feeling all to myself. I told myself to not bother you, friend.
But the only person who would understand me is you because we are now, facing the same thing. The exact same thing...
I miss you, best friend.
Like, what did i do to deserve this? Seriously, you, tell me.
ZUL, I Miss You, just please get that.


I say it's time that you give in,
Since it was real, you cannot fulfill, you're over
You feel your heart beat deep down
Ignoring the shame of causing this pain,
get out.
- Demi Lovato, Back Around.



Ika, I totally know how you feel, I feel like that too.
And I need to go shopping to unwind, really.

AH, SHIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CRIED WHILE READING IKA'S POST. );


i never knew it'll turn out like this...

Exams are over, overrrrrr! Yay!
That means, no more stressing, no more revisions and it's time to relax and go SHOPPING.
It's been so long since i last shopped and it's all thanks to mid-years. Gosh.
And know what?
I'm so jealous of those two rocking duos cos they got tickets to the PUSSYCAT DOLLS DOLL DOMINATION TOUR CONCERT!
Unfair, man. I love Ashley Roberts already you know! How can they do this to me? They could have bought me the tickets if they LOVE me, right? :P
So, anyway, and i heart Girlicious so much. Already Gone by the group is hottttt.
So totally addictive!

I ate Pancake for breakfast at Macs today after school which ended at around 8am. Pancake! After craving for it for a very very long time. Rasyiqah accompanied me for breakfast and we bonded. Hee, thanks babe for accompanying.
Bumped into 'Ain and her group of friends... So coincidental. :D

OMGOMGOMG, I'm still so jealous of themmmmm! ):
I totally need 'floral-like dresses, mini-dresses, more skirts, shorts, clips, hairbands, headbands, flats .
It's not a WANT. It's a NEED. (;

I like Demi Lovato's Behind Enemy Lines.
It's just nice. It may be my blog song, soon... As soon as I get over Girlicious and their awesomeness, that is. :D

I have yet to watch The City.
I've told myself to watch it as soon as the exams end and exams are already over so, i have to watch it as soon as possible. I've to catch things up. I can't wait to watch more of reality tv's. Whitney Port's in The City.
And The Hills' coming to an end. Another season and it's no more of The Hills after that.
Sad, huh? I know.

Someone just asked me a stupid, shitty question that I'm never going to answer.



i think this video is cute and a bit sad.
THE GUY IS EFFIN' HOT CAN!
i've been running away from the truth for so long.

- I miss Zulhilmi because he have been an awesome bitch and we haven't been catching up much on each other.

- Rasyad has a new hairstyle and i miss his bimbotic talks and all outings.
- Like what Selynna-minah types on her blog, Her and I are each other's 'Baby'. HAHA.
We might be going out as soon as the Holidays start.
- I had a super great time out with Vera today.
- Iskandar is out of mood.
- Faizul is now chatting with me online.
- Arman loves Miley-Stinky-Cyrus. (Oh well... Arman, she actually isn't that bad la)
- Chatted with Hannah, Hidayah's sister a while ago.
- I am still craving for Pancakes and Starbucks Coffee. Craving, craving for it.
- The CPA paper i had today wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
- I received an SMS a few minutes back and I haven't replied to it.
- I miss talking to Zahrah over the phone.
- I think I screwed most of my Mid-Year Papers and that sucks, heck!
- Angklung is going to start soon. I dread it but at the same time, i look forward to it. Love angklung (:
- I think Nadhirah's sexy burp is funny and sexaye and thinking of it makes me laugh non-stop.
- I miss Syahirah and SYF and HUGS.
- Ate a whole box of Chocolate muffins just now. I'm so proud. I ate it in ten minutes because I was starving crazy. Hee, so unlike me.
- Shahrul Shawal is online. Gonna chat with him again because he's my 'cousin'. Right, Qazimah. Whateverr eh. My childhood friend ler.
Found a picture of us and our mums when we were out to a colouring competition together, LOL!
So so weird and funny.
- I find the Channel 5 drama red-thread very dramatic.
- I like fighting spiders, RAJA LABAH-LABAHHHH.
- I miss Wan Murni Binte Wan Iskandar.
- I miss Daniel's random talks and company.
- I want want want Gummy Bears!
- I think I'm being really random, high and bored... now.
- Need Yasmin to text me to catch up with her.
- I Miss Lauren Conrad (a.k.a Raihana) so badddd.
- I wanna go to the Pussycat Dolls concert! Anyone ah, pls blanje. :D
- My shoe size have upgraded to a size FOUR babey!
- Need more dresses.

Honestly, I'm like... PISSED.
Because I flunked my music mid-year exam.
I'm really really sad that I didn't do as well as i could have. You know why? Because of the stupid Sibelius la. I think if it weren't for that, I would have passed because... Sibelius itself took a whole of fifteen marks.
This stinkssssss.
I'm sad because i passed part one of the paper but failed part two. STUPID SHIT.
I passed my keyboard-playing test, though. But am still not that happy of it cos i know i could have done wayyy better.

You know, i feel like listening to Stupid Shit by Gilricious now. STUPID SHIT, YEAHHHH.
I feel so bimbotic already.
-.-
I really really am disappointed with myself for being such an a-hole for failing. Always, always failing and never passing. I should do well. I must, must, must.
It's a harus to pass kan?

I cannot stand failing anymore.
It'll see how i do with the other papers first then i comment ah. I comment more. If i angry then more sad, angry, stupid post kay people.
I feel so high.

Maybe cos I'm chatting with CRAZEAYE-HELLOKITTYSMURFGURLSELYNNA. HAHAHA.
Okay, help me shut up please cos if i don't, more crazy things will come out from my mouth.

Yes yes, i am supposed me be studying but i find it rather hard to concentrate and things just won't get into my head. So i am now distracting myself even more as so that i can concentrate more later. Know whattt? I dont know what am i even saying.
Just do know that I'll be studying later and will go distract myself again, later after studying because by later-er, i'll be too stressed to even speak and get things inside my head.
WHAT AM I SAYING?!?!

Dah la, I'm just addicted to Gilricious' Stupid Shit now.
Yeah, STUPID SHIT, YEAH.
I WANNA TALK TO THAT SEXY 1.7m GIRLEEE ALREADY.
Who else if not Selynna?
She's one crazy biatch and I therefore, heart her, baby. :D


whoaaaa.

I never knew finding someone who really understand who you are inside-out is a hard thing.
I have always thought something like that would be easy.
But I've now realized that it isn't as easy as I thought it'd be.
It annoys me greatly and I don't like it.
It's hard to find someone who would always, always be there for you.
People have changed. Times have changed.
Everything is real different now. No one can just simply turn back time to the way the want it, can they? Well unless there is a time machine.
I would love to go back to when I was seven.
Or maybe, four. Still very naive. Still in a child-like mind. Free from all problems. Free from everything. But, too bad I can't.
Now that I'm fourteen, almost fifteen... A balancing act in life is needed.
I have a lot of things to handle in hand.

I have to learn how to handle things the right way and try not to hurt others when I'm hurt.
I dislike it that I have the slightest feelings of jealousy within me whenever I see the two together and I'm clueless on why am i feeling like that and I tend to hurt them whenever I feel that way. But then I thought, "They hurt me, too. Can't I hurt them back?"
I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that because that will only make things worse.
I don't know... I, feel a little bit lost but also feel that I'm in the right tracks. I've got all my feelings in control already. I've been feeling okay these days.
Not so sad anymore but apart of me still feel the pain that I have been going through for quite a while now. Hate the feeling.

It's not easy to find someone whom you really trust.
It's not easy.
After all that Ive gone through, I've learnt my lessons.
I really have.



I will become a better person from now on.

Chatted with my sweet little friend, Ifah for a little while just now.
I can't believe it, we've been friends since we were seven.
We parted then but are still in contact. :D

Thank you so much for everything Ifah.
I'm always here for you, you know?
I'm grateful to have a friend like you.
You have always been there for me, asking me how i am whenever you're free and have the time to talk to me, you have been a great buddy.
Thanks!

Qazimah.



i had a dream last night and it was all about you, hot.
one cute dream indeed.


THANK YOU SELYNNA.

The Mother's Day Celebration I had yesterday with my family and I?

We all look so great here, don't you thinkkk?
Omg, so perasan kan.

And look at that, it's Iqa and Qazimah. The most hottest ladies in the pictureeee.
Omg yet again, perasan.
I should stop with self-praising you know.
It's like. So whatever.
All the mothers in the middle and a Yam basket at the end. My uncle loved the Yam basket so much. He crave for it a lot of times already.

What a nice yet edible flower. Yes, it is edible. Cool or what right? It's made up of keropoks. So cute. Oh the food's just nice, my cousins and I bonded super much. We caught up with each other. Like, finally.

Just look at Andi and Aniq. So cute!

Okay, i loved yesterday. I love yesterday so badly, madly, deeply.
Right, Qazimah.
Oh gawd. Tmr's school. And i have Music. I haven't studied. Oh... waitwait. What is there to study for music? NOTHING, :D
Yays.

So, met Rasyiqah today to go to the Library to study.
But you know, the library was so packed and noisy that we decide to then, go to Macs.
Ordered the whatever-wrap and Rasyiqah ordered cheese burger meal.
And i, at the end after getting so full... ordered Milo Mcflurry.
I haven't tried it yet though. It is still in the fridge, cooling.
I want it to like, freeze first.
But i do not think there is any difference uh with Mcflurry and the Mudpie.
Not much difference.
So anyway, we studied just a tiny bit and went home.
Gee.

I want pancakes!
Yes, still craving for it.

I think im secretly lovin' hey monday!

I'm kind of in a state of confusion. I don't know why. I am a little sad because when i said i already got over things, I actually haven't. Yes, yes... Friends. Things with my friends and I are great now but I can't help thinking about 'what if it happens again?' I have a phobia of it happening again.
I do not want it to be happening again because if it does, it sure will suck.
And i predict that if it does happen again, it will suck and will be way worse than how it used to be.
I'm terrified.


I think i need a hug. ):

Instead of just pondering over "Why couldn't just things turn the way I wanted it to be?", breaking down and also, having thoughts of wanting to give up on some little things, this 'life-is-a-roller-coaster-ride' test that I have been taking for quite a while now have thought me to be stronger and how to hold on and be patient.
It has thought me how to think maturely onto handling things and that sometimes, being patient works.

It really is painful to go through the losing of friends. The closest they are to you, the more it hurts because you thought that they know you inside out and would care very much about your feelings but they don't. They leave you. They hurt you. It may not have hurt them because they are just clueless to the word 'Friendship' and what it exactly means but it hurts me because I kept thinking that things would get better but it did not. I tried being patient, I hoped for the better of things but as days passes by, I realized that whatever I hoped for just isn't happening.
My mentality then told me to give up because I could not take it any longer and that I would gain other friends, better friends because what I gone through the other time was taking a toll on me and it made me not think straight as the feeling was too overwhelming. I couldn't let the feeling go. I didn't have the heart to hurt them. I didn't have the heart to do anything mean at all, to them. It never crossed my mind, in fact.

I started socializing and gained friends.
Better friends.
I left the 'old' friends aside for a little while, thinking they'd do some reflecting on what they had done. But they never ever realized and never knew that what they did affected me a whole lot. I ignored. Like i said, I did not have the heart to be mean to them. So I left and ignored them. Because without me, they would do whatever they want.
They, the 'old' friends eventually made their own cliques, without me.

I didn't bother.
I kept quiet about it.
I didn't want to bother neither do i want to know anything about the new clique.

I then made friends.
Better friends. The awesome-st friends anyone could ever have.

The 'old friends' never did talk to me neither did i.
Bcos we weren't okay.

I loved hanging around with the awesome-st people so much.
I found out that they, are the people who actually care.
They care so much about me and they are just willing to be friends with me.
They somewhat thought me how to be different and think maturely. which is... To rekindle the 'old' friendship with the 'old' friends.

I did some thinking.
Thinking on what could possibly happen if i were the one who seek for forgiveness?
I did that so so many times but nothing changed. It all stayed the same.

What else should I do?
Some more thinking?

'I give up.', a part of me says.
'No, don't give up. Pull yourself together... Try work things out. Talk to them.', another part of me said.

I did both things at the same time.
Which was, to talk things out with them but unwillingly.
There was nothing I could do. Nothing... else.
I disliked the idea very much of seeking forgiveness when I was not in the wrong.

'Give them another chance. They are your friends.'
I apologized.
Willingly this time round. And that, was another part of my roller-coaster-ride test.
I gave them the chance.
I tried turning things around.
I did a lot of thinking.

As days passes by then, things got better and better.
And i realized that the 'losing of friends' didn't affect me only. It hurt them too.
But they buried it deep down in them because
they didn't want to hurt me.

I was in the wrong too. It didn't only affect me.
It affected them as much, too.

i still love them despite the fact that we fought countless times.
i gained friends. Them and the awesome-st people at the same time.
I love them all.

Yes, i went through a lot of pain going through all these but i think now, that it's worth it.
We fought.
We cried.
And i thought they never knew what friendship meant.



But, they did.


I treasure the friendship i have with the people around me and i, therefore, would never neglect them (general) no matter how busy i am.
oh well, unless they send me one word texts. :D

I would like to thank Vera, my lovely angklung 'junior' (kidding! :P) for always checking up and me and trying her hardest to always cheer me up whenever I'm down with her funny little texts and her getting high when texting or talking to me :D

Vera, you have been such a sweetheart. Although I know you have your own problems too, you never fail to text me and ask if i am alright.

You're the sweetest.
You, too. Don't you not tell me when you have problems! (;

Demi Lovato was on Ellen just now and she performed "Don't Forget" and I watched it :D

Okay, I studied today. Yes, please get that, I studied today. but only for two hours.
Well, at least i did okay. I made the effort to actually lift my finger and open my MATHS book and also, covered the whole of every chapter.
I just hope my mind won't erase off the things i studied tomorrow when the paper starts.
Because if it does, I'll be dead meat.

I wanna go out leh. I'm like, bored at home. I wanna go shop or something.
I also want ice-cream although i ate a tub of sundae yesterday night already.
I crave for crazy things nowadays, you know. It is so crazy.
I think i'm growing fat.
I ate like, a total of three and a half pizzas yesterday, a tub of sundae, a burger and burger seems so, normal to me already. Tired of it all. Junk food makes you fat, Qazimah.
I should cut down on all these and take care of my health, maaan.

Chatting with Shahrul, my old old temasek-primary-school bestf, it's been very very very long since we last met and our mums used to be so close but since he moved out, we sort of lost contact and its all thanks to Ashraf that i got his contact back.
(:



WHAAAT?
HAHA.
I miss Temasek Primary, suddenly.

I kind of am a little pissed off.
I know i am supposed to hang on and to be patient with things... Well, i am.
But, i think we are now very different already.
everyone's so different now.
I dislike the fact that everybody's changing.
I dislike changes.

I have maths to look forward to in the morning.
Gosh. I hope i will do well because I have already made a promise to myself and I will stick to my words.


:D



i miss you. i miss your smile.

So, I was bored yesterday night because I could not watch Kimora Lee Simmons on the telly as there was channel breakdown. I tuned in to 90210 instead just to kill time because there was nothing else to do at home but wait for my brother to be back home with dinner in hand.
I watched the whole of one episode and I think I'm loving 90210, again.
The show's cool but i think it needs to be rated or something. Seriously.
I think it's a little bit too... much.


I looked through a folder that contains a lot of old/recent pictures taken and i found these...

see, today's post is all about the people i love.
You guys make me smile even when i don't want to.
always, always there for me.
that is why i love you right.


electronica.