January 30, 2009
I'm only trying to let you
know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.
Thank You Zahrah for the help with my homework.
love you, babe.
Oh, speaking of that babe, she said that Taylor Swifts' Forever And Always really reflected on how i felt when i was super sad at one point, late last year. Which when i checked the lyrics, was so based on how i felt lah. So, Zahrah was super right and true.
Wow, she knows me so well.
:DD
School today?
Bad.
Okay at first but, bad after that. You should know why. I just can't stand people cursing me and like, screaming at me on my FACE. I find that annoying, i asked nicely and i got yelled at. Wth is wrong with most of all the people i know today?
Urgh. Nevermind about that.
A Spotcheck today sorta 'interrupted' the English Lesson. Our bags were all being checked.
I spot funny stuffs coming out from people's bag. Hehs.
Ain, had a bag full of perfumes, lip gloss and everything. Amalia had a bag, too, full of tobelerone chocolates. Like, really super full of the chocolates! Yums.
Anushka had lots of junk foods in her bag.
Rashidah had perfumes too.
LOL. So interesting.
Had dinner yesterday at Simpang and i had a great bonding time with Kak Firah talking about The Hills, Laguna Beach and The City. Gosh.
i don't really like Audrina now. I notice how she is with Lauren. Lauren was really, pouring her problems to her friends and all Audrina can do is put up a face at one episode. -.-
And i think Heidi's Spencer should really shave his 'moustache' off. He does not look good with the extra 'moustache'. Ew. Ew.
i'm not about to move on.
i find it hard to.
i really think that i am not ready to leave you off my mind.
and when i have a million things to worry about, there's still space for you.
so i find it rather hard to.
i'm sorry.
i know things won't happen the way i want it to.
but if i could wait, i would.
i won't want to give up.
i'll try not to. Or, is it right for me to?
i'm lost. Lost without you.
January 29, 2009
I thought you'd come around when I ignored youSorta thought youd have the decency to change..."I Miss You, I Miss Your Smile And I Still Shed A Tear Every Once In A While,
And Even Though It's Different Now You're Still Here Somehow
My Heart Won't Let You Go, And I Need You To Know That I Miss You..."
-Miley Cyrus' I Miss You Lyrics.
No, I do not look up to Miley Cyrus. I don't really fancy her singing nor acting either. But, this song is just so sweet and when listening to it, it hit me because you won't know what you have until it's gone.
Some say to not regret what you've done because what is done cannot be undone... But, yes, i regretted some of the things i did.
And only my dearests and closest knows what were the things i have regretted doing.
I really do.
I would cry sometimes because i really felt bad about doing it and i played the confession game over the phone with lovely Zahrah yesterday and she sure confessed a lot of things to me, so yay Zahrah. Thank you for confessing it all to me. So at least, I'll still have a chance to improve myself to become a better person.
Yes, i regretted what i did and you may not know how badly i feel about it because, you are not me.
Ah, forget it.
I'm sick. Seriously sick lah.
I had slight fever last night and my throat hurts so bad that i had to put down on the people who conferenced with me last night. Sorry people. ):
When i woke up this morning, i realized that i've lost my voice and it was so hard for me to speak. Like, when i speak, my throat hurts.
There were alot of absentees today. Benjamin, Jia Wei, Amalia, Rashidah, Anushka, Ain and Norizwan and myself, according to Afiq. I was so WoW-ed by that.
Gosh, have to study Maths from Chapter 1 to 3 later. Class test tomorrow, maybe.
Sigh. Nevermind. I'll study. Yes, Yes, I will.
:D
Oh oh, I just took my height and weight today at the clinc when i went there this morning, i was stoked to know that i was 38kg and 1.53. Yay.
I used to be 39kg can.
Wait, does this mean i'm underweight or acceptable?
I feel fat though. But, i'm not anorexic. Never will i be that way and I don't want to be another Mary-Kate Olsen who think she's fat when she isn't.
No, i'm never bullimic nor aneroxic, please. Please.
I have to read my book!
:D
It's a matter of time to confess what's on my mind.
But i'm afraid that by the time I tell, I'll have no closure.
But I think, It was too much that I asked for him.
I don't know if it's right to tell now.
Yes, I am scared.
January 28, 2009
The things you say you make me fall harder each dayYou're a trainwreckBut I wouldn't love you if you changedHAPPY BIRTHDAY AYU! THANK YOU RAYMOND. (: Ahhhhs, haha. Christmas colours, Green and Red.
Yeah, Ayu's birthday today. So, happy birthday to you, Ayu. (:
Today was pretty okay. Not awesome, not so great lah. School's never awesome. It's either just okay, great or fine for me.
Had CIP and we all had to be split up into groups of five. So Rasyiqah, Amalia, Ain, Anushka, Rashidah and I grouped ourselves together and the tasks was to distrubute oranges to blocks of flats and so, we did.
We went to a malay house and there was this woman and she hadher hot son with her there. So, Ain and Rashidah upon seeing him, freaked like mad. They gave her four oranges when we were only supposed to give like, two per-person maybe because of her son, they gave her four and like, four cards too. Wth? Just because she has a hot son. WoW.
So anyway, we finished CIP real early and i wanted to get home. Rasyiqah so badly wanted to go home with me but she then changed her mind saying she wanted to lepak when she usually doesn't with the rest and i, obviously did not want to. So, they were so excited to lepak that they left me all alone with Raymond. And Rasyiqah, smartly, begged Raymond to send me home. so, he did. His friend and himself though. And Well, not home lah. Just 'almost' to the bustop. He walked me there because Rasyiqah was begging him like crazy and, i was lost not knowing whether to get home or not. Dumb me.
Gah.
We were walking under the void deck and Mr. Jit saw us and Raymond was asking Mr. Jit about the bubble tea he wanted to treat him because of his good work or something. And that dear teacher surprisingly asked me this...
"Is he your new boyfriend?"
And i was like, -.-"!!!!!
Gosh. What the heck?
"Friend what!" i replied and he's like, "Ya, lah you. Boy. Friend. Get it?"
Should I LOL or shouldn't I? Cos i find this pretty lame to LOL for.
Ala.
Oh, this is really bimbotic of me. This was what happened during CPA.
Yes, i sat beside Raymond for CPA and we wanted to check if our work was right and he went all, "Eh, Qazimah, correct lah."
Me: You KNOW MY NAME?
Rahman and Zach heard and they laughed.
Rahman: Oi Qaz, dah four weeks tak kan dier tak tau name kau sia?
Me: Ala, saper tau?
Rahman & Zach: (Laughs)
What a bimbo.
do i have to keep moving and forget it?
January 26, 2009
LAGUNA BEACH
Never would've said forever
If we knew it ends so fastWhy did you say I love youIf you knew that it wouldn't last?
Went to East Coast Beach to meet up with my cousins and yeah, had fun. :D
Oh, other than slacking, BBQ-ed too. Most of the food's burnt, burnt, burnt! Really.
I only ate the part which wasn't fully burnt and threw those black burnt parts away and my dad thought that it was 'spoiled' of me to not eat most of the food properly and that i kept going, "Ew, Ew, Ew." whenever i accidentally bit on the burnt parts.
Wth?
He was like, "Ni kan BBQ. Tak kan nak makanan sedap2."
And it was burning hot! I was sweating profusely and my mum went "Terok nah kau berpeluh!" I hate it and i was complaining non-stop lah.
Yes, when i sweat, i sweat bad.
Like, really. It'll be like as though i've just finished bathing or something.
I know what you're thinking right now. So, shut that thought up. :D
Went over to Akmal's and he wasn't home.
He is always out with his girlfriend, lepaking. -.-
Well. Who cares. At least Aliah's there to keep me entertained. Yay.
We talked A LOT.
I am craving for soft brownie-cookies again. Anyone who buys me that, I'll love you forever kay? (;
Thank you!
Gosh, urgh! My throat hurts really bad and i keep having headaches.
My mum said that it is probably due to radiation or something.
OMG. I hate being sick.
(I'm not really sick. But like, it is all of the headache and throat)
Alaaaa, shit ah. Hate hate hate it.
And i am out. of. books maaaaaan.
I so need books to keep my 'life' occupied. (since people keep saying my life is boring)
Anyone wanna buy me books?
No lah, don't have to. :P
As if you would want to, people.
I hate you, Zul!
Seriously lah! Haha.
He keeps calling me Makcik Imah can.
So annoying.
Diam ah, Pakcik Zul.
And you guys better not call me Makcik Imah kay.
If you want to irriate me, use something else but not Makcik.
Seriously, i think i'm very Makcik-like. NOT!
I should stop this and Zul, better not annoy me okays, forgetful person.
:P
I want. soft. cookies! >.< style="font-style: italic;">
when am i ever gonna get over it?
do i want to or do i not?
):
January 25, 2009
Loves not enough when you say itDon't you know you gotta mean it?Take her and make sure she feels itLet her know you'll never let her go...
I like Sleepless Nights by Faber Drive :D
And, Madrasah today wasn't what i expected. No, it wasn't really good ... it was pretty much bad lah. Like, really.
I was late for Madrasah and there were pairs of eyes staring at me as soon as i entered the class door.
Uh! Nevermind about that.
I was late. Okay, i've never been late for anything before.
Oh, well ... maybe when it comes to going out with my friends, Yes. :P But, obviously not school.
Told ya i'm a good girl.
Chey, Whatever seh Qazimah.
I got noisy as soon as i sat down my seat and the ustaz kept sushing us up. Grrrrr!
So i was called up by the tafsir ustazah to the office and drearest Zahrah willingly volunteered. said she wanted to takecare of me and be my bodyguard, so i allowed her to.
HAHA, Bodyguard pe! Kidding.
I got in and sat. I started talking again lah and the ustazah had shut us up too. (:
She noticed how short and tight my shirt was and it wasn't baggy enough, so i was told to not wear those shorties and tighties again in madrasah.
Heh.
After break too, Zahrah had to change seats with the rest of us because there were alot of noises coming from her and the ustaz wanted her away from us to avoid distractions.
And she only moved a few seats away from us and she ended up sitting beside me. Haha!
Whattaheck.
she kinda cried and i pitied her that i sat beside her without the ustaz's knowledge.
I was talking to her non-stop.
And when ustaz noticed, he thought i was gossiping about the guys at the side of our class.
But, i wasn't. I was so innocent can.
-.-
I was then telling Zahrah how cute and shiny my nails were (Yes, i do talk crap with Zahrah) and she was like,
Zahrah: Eh, you use kotex?
Me: Huh, what? Kotex? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Zahrah: (laughs her head off)
Me: What the hell? Kotex? Cutex lah you!
Zahrah: Gahahaha! Sorry salah cakap.
Whaaaaat Zahrah! Kotex?
HAHAHAHA. You are so ... Haah (Insert Your Own Word, Please) X=
I had so much fun talking to her. And they were all shits coming out. (;
I am. T.I.R.E.D.
And bored.
I GOT MY SOFT COOKIES ALREADY! YAYS!
and it has only been you, so far.
January 24, 2009
BabyYou're the only thing that's beenOn my mind, ever since you leftI've been a mess, You won't answer your phoneI'll say it onceAnd I'll leave you aloneBut I gottaLet you knowI wanna get backTo the old days.I got my bangs backkkkkkkk. I don't know. I just wanted it cut again because i couldn't stand the hotness with my longer fringe covering and poking my eyes. Irritating. And the teacher already apporached me and told me to clip up my fringe as it kept covering my eyes and i would never want it clip it up so i cut it. (:
Going shopping now, i guess.
:D
still not over it.
January 23, 2009
"When she finds the oneher heart starts to jumpshe thinks he's never gone."
The Chinese New Year Celebration wasn't what i expected it to be. It wasn't that good. Neither was our Class party. There was no class spirit and it was pretty boring although we had techno music blasting off the speakers and dancers dancing to both tektonic and techno music.
Some of them were so semangat and asked us all to dance but we were reluctant to.
I mean, Me, Dance? You must be joking! :P
I tap to tunes and stuff but i cannot dance! Amalia can but she doesn't want to.
Nothing much happened. It was just the class party and then, the celebration.
Yes, the rest of my friends went to 'lepak'. -.- after school.
I didn't. And i would never want to. Thank You.
So anyway, i had angklung practice on Thursday and it was fine, i guess? It's both work and play. Like, we slack, too. I don't mind that ... I would rather prefer that than being all serious and stuff.
There was no maths test today by the way.
The teacher wanted us to have it today but the whole class sighed like crazy so he changed it to Wednesday. Yay! More time to study.
I so have to lah. I can't keep on failing ... I just need 'Motivation'. (:
Yeah.
I'm tired.
And sleepy.
Don't really have the mood.
I want a wristlet.
I want a highcut converse.
I want a hair cut. (A Trim and i'll be getting my bangs back)
YAY! :D
I know Zul, you hate me for bangs. :P
Haha.
i'm not over it.
January 21, 2009
"You're the kinda guy that makes me want tofollow through to you,I've been trying to leave you for the longest timeThe second that i saw you i just knew i found my right guy."
- Demi Lovato, The MiddleYou're The Kinda Guy That Makes Me Want To Follow Through You, I've Been Trying To Leave You For The Longest Time." (But i can't).
So school today was ...
great,
awesome,
fun and
crazily interesting
No, that is so not how i describe my day at school and that is so not me to say something like that of school. Eeeks. School wasn't great neither was it awesome nor fun or interesting ... It was normal. Very, very normal.
Nothing special about school at all. It's very usual.
You see the same people, talk to the same friends, bicker, gossip ... Typical.
Anushka and I didn't attend the first lesson because the two of us were chosen to do some survey thingy. We didn't attend FT.
(:
Rasyiqah really freaked out over something she shouldn't be freaking out about just now. I was shocked lah. She went all, "OMGOMGOMG." loudly because of it.
As soon as i got home, i was so freaking tired that after copying my homework down and slept for like, three and a half hours. So tired.
I was actually tired two days before because of mind champs but then, i 'dragged' the 'tired-ness' to today and i slept half the afternoon through.
There is three period of maths tomorrow! );
I'll be so dead if i don't get what the teacher is explaining and there is also a freakin' test.
D:
i gotta keep moving, i don't know what i can do.
January 20, 2009
Those good times, they never last Looking out my window making promises I watched it in my head so many times Looking over every single "thought" like you didn't know...
Today was the last day of Mind Champs and BOO to the last day! ):
I freakin' LOVED the workshop. Like, seriously.
It was so fun ... Well, at least for me it was because, i get to bond with every single one of my friends and i got to know them much much better than last time.
i loved the trainers, they never fail to put a positive mindset in you. They will never never let you give up even though you're trying your hardest to.
They are really supportive towards everything and are hip, too. They dance to Trance, Techno, Rock, Pop, Alternatives anddddddd, PUSSYCAT DOLLS!
Gosh lah. I was listening to Trainer Irene explaining to whatever she was explaining and a minute later, we had to do some work by copying whatever that was on the slide down and Beep by the Pussycat Dolls was on.
I was so freaking out can!
[edited;]
And then, i felt really tired and wanted so badly to sleep and i almost did.
But i asked Trainer Irene if i could go to the washroom to wash my face and i also, did.
I felt better after washing my face and stuff.
okay ... i shouldn't have type that all out because these are not informations that are needed to be known.
Who cares.
So, i really enjoyed mind champs very very much and i love the trainers! :D
can't seem to get over it.
January 19, 2009
If I could have you back again
I'd think about it once or twice, I guess
If I could have you back
I'd reconsider, maybe I'd say yes...Had Mind Champs today.
Mind Champs is a 2-Day workshop we have for the whole Sec Three's and it's about you and your mind.
It was really fun .. There were music being played by the trainers and stuff like that.
I think one of them looks like Ellen DeGeneres ... like, seriously. Except that the trainer, Irene has much darker strawberry-blonde hair and Ellen only has shades of blonde and also, Ellen with make-up, eyeliner and curly eyelashes would make the trainer, Irene.
I'm not kidding. She's a morph of Ellen & Julia Roberts.
Tell me who looks like either Ellen or Julia in Singapore?
She obviously is an American, so she is a mixture of both the celebs.
(:
There are like, around five trainers?
I can only remember three, by the way and their names are Irene, Pauline & Rozana.
The trainer Pauline, self introduced herself and said she was from L.A and used to work in Hollywood and i went "OH.MY.GOD." (Just like Emma Roberts did in Wildchild) and Amalia went like that too. Woo, in stereos. (;
Hah.
We had three breaks in total and it was cool. All of the trainers we very enthusiastic lah.
They were dancing to Techno, Rock, Pop and everything. Amalia and I were the very enthusiastic ones too, really.
The two of us wanted to be in every picture taken.
The two of us wanted our names called.
But so far, we appeared only in a few pictures and not names called.
Trainer Rozana said the three of us has unique names. Heh!
:P
We are being called the "Sweater Girls" Because we all wore cardi/jackets.
I wore my bathing ape pink & black jacket and it was thicker than Amalia's.
Rasyiqah, a simple black one and Amalia, her minah looking jacket with Diamonds and things on them.
It looks minah on her. VERY.
Maryam and her have the same exact jacket on. WOW. Same taste i see.
We had to group ourselves and guess what our group name and team members are?
Group Name: Mighty Thunder. (I kept remembering it as Tropic Thunder) HAHAHAHA!
Team Members: Qazimah, Shi Yi, Guo Liang, Karisma, Othman, Hafizul and ... i forgot the other's name.
Our group name sounds very Power Ranger-ish and i dislike it much. Othman lah, came out with that name. -.-
Hehs.
We had to do "What Creative Thinking Is...." and I came up with this.
FYI, i should get credit cos i did all of them, Thank You.
End of workshop then, gosh i so am looking foward to tomrrow lah.
So excited and happy already :D
My Lovely Amalia. :D
I know i look bad at some pics.
bare with it. :DDD
should've never let you have my heart.
January 18, 2009
Thank You Nadirah for the lovely bangles you bought Zahrah, Atiqah, Nurin, Ain & I from India. It's pretty. (Nadirah went to India for a school trip, by the way)
Mine's Pink and i like it. :D
Like, a lot. Heh.
I really am looking foward to things.
-I'm looking forward to Aly & AJ's New CD to be released.
-To watch Sonny With A Chance (Demi Lovato's the lead)
-To watch The City. (The Hills spin-off series The City, Intro Song; Pussycat Dolls On Top Of The World)
(:
Demi Lovato's just 5'2.
But that's not as bad compared to Mary-Kate Olsen & girls of The Veronicas who's of the same height and is 23 years old.
:P
i want a pair of stilettos too!
but i won't have a size. ):
i want a dooney brouke bag.
I WAAAAAAAAANNNNNT. :P
don't forget.
January 17, 2009
I think of all the moments, when I was so alone
And you were there right next to me, when nobody was home
I'm happy today.
Like, finally,
i am happy :D
Worked things out with my friends last night already.
I came to realise my mistakes and felt super bad for hurting their feelings and also, for being a complete 'A'-hole.
On The Line.
Rasyiqah: Qazimah, are you okay?
Qazimah: I think so.
Rasyiqah: Oh.
Qazimah: I'm sorry. Sorry for what i did.
Rasyiqah: I'm sorry too. Really, I understand how you feel.
Tears, then.
I cried. OHMYGAWD. I cry a lot, huh?
i cried because, Rasyiqah was so forgiving. Everyone was.
I didn't realize how lucky i was to have them all.
Amalia was there.
Qazimah: Amalia, I'm sorry.
Amalia: You know what, Qazimah? (Angry tone) ... I miss you!
Rahman, Afiq, Rusydi: Ler! Ingatkan nak marah, LOL.
RQA: (Laughs.)
You didn't know how bad i felt when i wasn't with them.
When i got mad at them.
I missed them, terribly.
I love you people.
So sorry for the way i have been acting towards you guys.
I miss you. (;
Oh oh oh. And,
I LOVE CHATTING WITH MUNNY/MURNI!she is so fun to talk to.
She rocks lah!
Haha, Murni.
:D
i can't breathe without you here.
January 16, 2009
January 15, 2009
Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget what we were feeling inside?Now I'm left to forget about us...Some things are just better left unsaid.
Some things can't be changed no matter how hard to want it to.
People, change.
For better or for ... worse.
I think, i've changed but i don't know if these changes in me are good enough for myself.
I want to be responsible. I want to be good. I want to be the girl not everyone loves to hate or something. I want to be the girl who everyone know for the right reasons. Not the wrong one.
But i do know that I'm not the girl who get caught in school for having minis in school. The one punished for being late for school.
I am the girl caught for not attending CCA's so bad that i got kicked out and having a long fringe and never wants to clip it up (i do tuck it behind my ear), though. Not always.
i want to prove people wrong, from now on.
I want to stand out. I want them to know that i am, me.
I am Qazimah.
I want all my schoolwork done good and know that I'm trying to be different and show them that not all Normal Technical students can't do well and excel.
Qazimah is trying her absolute hardest to prove people wrong from now on.
:D
I really think you've changed, my dear best friend.
You really are different. You are like, another person with them and another, with us.
i want us to stick together and always be with each other through thick and thin but i have came to realize that no one really appreciate my help and none notice that I'm worrying about their problems, not mine and i care about them that my problems are now, taking a toll on me.
i have been hiding the truth for so long and i don't think i can keep it any longer.
i think i have to 'fess up.
Done.
Today;
- Stayed back after school to help the class with the Chinese new year decoration and stuff.
- Had a freaking maths test and i hope i do well on it, like really.
I am so tired. But it's okay. Tomorrow's Friday ... :D
- Played a game of soccer for PE and shit, i suck. I obviously did not do anything but stand in the hot sun. Had to do push ups and a guy stepped on my fingers by accident and i was like, "OMG! OUCHHHH!" And mr jit had to echo it back and made the whole class laugh. I mean, whaaaaat?
Ala, i don't care uh. :P
Yesterday;
Rahman, Amalia, Rusydi and I walked Rasyiqah home. From school to her bustop. Quite a long walk lah. And if you were there, you would ask me to zip my mouth because i was complaining like crazy because it was super hot and i was sweating to the max.
I am serious! URGH.
I missed an ep of the hills! Wth!
I watched an ep of Cheyenne on MTV, watch it people. Cheyenne Kimball!
I realised that Taylor Swift's You're Not Sorry lyrics's really nice and meaningful and it used to be how i feel.
what the heck do people change? It sucks to know that.
I hate that everyone's changing. Who will ever be the same again?
Do i have to watch everyone fade and see their true colours?
Why am i always hurt, like this?
When can i ever get that perfect someone?
When i think that someone's perfect and can accept me for who i am, that someone has to go.
When i think life's weird, it gets perfect.
What's life?
Some Hollywood Drama that includes bitches?
Yeah, probably. But whatever it is, i have to go through it.
Life gets bizzare at times.
But it's life and you have to overcome the things you're scared of.
January 12, 2009
You suffocate me, you drown me out.
I'm tired of waiting without a doubt,
I feel like i'm fading, I flicker out,
My heart is screaming without a sound.
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around.
You and Me, my life would change in a second.
i don't know how you feel. You seem to keep it to yourself,
what i think you're just perfect.
We'll walk through to something more.
This is harder than we both thought.
We are more hurt than we appear and it is easier to fall apart.
Look where we are.
No one knows how i really, truly feel inside.
I don't know why i feel the sudden urge to want to study lah. That is so not me.
Went to the library with Rasyiqah, Amalia, Rusydi and Rahman after school today.
Typical.
'Studied', camwhored and stuff.
Rusydi was like, putting his hands over Rasyiqah's shoulder in one of the pictures! "DDD
HAHA. So sweeeeeeeeeeet! They look so cute together.
After all that happenings,
I felt lonely.
They were like, talking among themselves before they talked to me.
Rasyiqah obviously was talking to Rusydi.
Rahman was away, i don't know doing what.
Amalia was online.
-.-
Rusydi wanted to get his laptop from home then.
He asked all of us to accompany him to his house and i was like, NO NO NO. Because that is so wrong. And i was sulking all the way and almost crying because, because of Rusydi, Rasyiqah, Amalia and I fought. WTF?
Rasyiqah wanted so badly to accompany him.
Amalia doesn't see any wrong in being there, entering his house.
I don't like entering a 'guys' house without their parents around.
Forgive me for being so 'innocent'. I just don't like it at all.
It seem, wrong. Very wrong.
Me: If you want to go, Go lah. I don't want to follow. I'll either stay here or go back home.
(roll eyes)
Amalia: Eh, Qazimah, what is so wrong about it?
Me: Everything?
Rusydi: Qazimah, takpe lah kau tak nak ikut, me and Rahman will go ourselves.
Rasyiqah: Oi, Qazimah! Ikut jer lah. Ikut ah. (Pulls me away from them to talk to me in private)
She just wants to be with him lah. ALWAYS.
I rolled my eyes at her. Obviously.
So i kept my mouth shut all the way. They then knew how to apologise to me.
Gosh!
I sat at a corner and held my tears for the longest time.
My voice started to change.
Rusydi: Are you crying? Are you okay?
Me: (shakes head)
I don't know.
I couldn't stand the stress i was having.
It so sucks.
soon it all got better.
they all sent me home.
thanks guys, i guess.
(sighs)
it's a matter of time to confess it all.
January 11, 2009
I know we're both young, but we know how we feel.
We know what is false, and we know what is real.
The Truth Hurts, So We Lie.
We lie to hide the truth because we know we can never get what we want.
We lie to defend ourselves, sometimes.
We lie because we are afraid to face the truth, because we the truth hurts.
I'm sorry. I'm not like, encouraging anyone of you to lie or that lying is a good thing. It is a bad bad bad thing to lie.
But sometimes, i feel that ... lying is kind of the best thing to do to hide yourself from your own feelings and stuff. I do that. Not always. At times when i feel there is a need to.
Maybe, i should just get my mind clear OFF things and never let whatever i'm thinking bring me down.
I have the three around me. And i love them.
Hate to admit it. But Rusydi is always right ..
I, honestly hate the fact that Rusydi is making Rasyiqah wait can. It's annoying.
Today, i wanted to be known as, Me, Qazimah and not Zahrah's 'close friend' to the whole class in madrasah.
Zahrah is like, super known in class. Everyone knows who she is and everything because she is noisy.
So i decided i would want to make a name for myself, too.
I was like, "Zahrah! Not fair seh. Everyone knows you but not meeeeee."
And she told the ustazah, "I have a request, if you mention me, can you also please mention Qazimah?"
WTF lah?
I was super blushing. Really really red.
I iate eu zawah.
i ellowve eu people. eu guys rawk.
Seriously, i've nothing better to do kan.
I am so bored.
sho i wwrite stuped shet.
(:
why is it playing in my mind again?
that scene, that line? everything?
Is it just me?
"Seriously, I have no pity for Malibu Barbie."
- Instant Beauty Peagant; Style Network.
January 10, 2009
These moments spent are coming to an end
I'm counting secondsTill' next time again...
When will i ever find my real friends?
The one, whom i can really, fully trust and who will be with me till the end?
Through my ups and downs. Through thick and thin?
Helping me throughout.
Knowing me well enough to care about me and listening to whatever i have to say.
Like it when i talk and never asking me to stop?
Helping me with schoolwork whenever i have problems with it?
Friends.
I need my friends back.
I need them.
I really would like to Thank Rusydi, Rasyiqah and Amalia the most for being there. And Rusydi for understanding how i feel. You, testing Rasyiqah and making her wait for a year is long enough. We are just FIFTEEN.
We can never never wait THAT long.
I am a girl. I know how she really feels. It hurts to wait. But, she waited for you. No need to wait for prom lah.
"Guys who make girl's wait wants to know if the girl really loves him and loves him enough to wait for him."
Typical guys.
I agree guys have their own issues too. But girls have much greater issue that those guys.
Rusydi told me all that.
And now i understand. And i regretted some of the things i did.
I cried for a reason and that is stupid, prolly.
I missed it all.
I missed everything. Every. Single. Thing.
Like i said, i will thank you on my blog, I will.
Thanks. Dah happy?
(:
Whatever.
Maybe, some things just aren't meant to be.
They are better off with nothing and that's how it is.
You can't force it to be how YOU want it to be.
Because if that is how you think of it and want it to happen YOUR way,
It will only hurt you.
You're all the things I'm looking
For everything and so much more
What I think
You are just perfect
Could it be
That I am worth it
Is this thing an open door
Walk right through to something more
You and me
My life would change in a second....
Aly & AJ - In A Second.
January 08, 2009
You made me
Made me think we had something realBut then you tried to use the way I feelAgainst me...Now, that there's the 5 (almost 6) of us in the clique, i'm looking forward to school each day. I keep looking forward to it and i like it that we are all really bonding and everything.
Rusydi and Rahman'd wait for us at the school bus stop. AUTOMATICALLY. 'Us' as in, Rasyiqah and I. Amalia, she'll be the only late one because she takes a long route to school and her boyfriend would send her to school. So we only meet her IN school.
The sitting arrangements changed, again. Ala, who cares. Too lazy to keep up with the sitting arrangements anymore. We can just switch seats anytime we want. I think we are allowed to, anyways. :P
I never once sat beside Rasyiqah neither Amalia in class. I wanted to, though.
Lets see. I'm stuck with both the guys lah. It's so annoying.
I sat beside Rahman and Rusydi for Maths. Patnered with them too, during English Lesson along with Rasyiqah and Amalia.
How to talk about guys like that, you tell me. ):
HAHAHAHA.
So, yeah. I begged my maths teacher and told him i wanted to sit with the two so so badly.
And he said he will see about it later. And later means, tomorrow. So, i'll just wait.
(:
Amalia told me what happened yesterday that they went to the airport.
They said Rasyiqah and Rusydi almost got together.
I want to see the part where they get together. And i'll tell you, for sure that i will scream eventhough i can't. :D
Like, really. Am just so excited for them.
And Rasyiqah doesn't listen to me but Rusydi tau.
I told her to let go of her fringe and everything. She did. But she didn't like it in the end so she clipped it up.
Yesterday, Rusydi, Rahman and Amalia got their hair cut. And Rusydi told her to let go of her fringe and she LISTENED.
Wth?
Haha!
They camwhored together, too.
Aww. They are so sweet lah. I can't imagine Rasyiqah's patience. She waited for him and it's been a year now.
Alamak Rusydi!
Make your move already lah. She waited for you super long enough you know!
HAHA.
I'm hungry. Want to eat.
(:
i never thought it'll all happen again.
i broke down. Again. Yesterday.
Thank you for comforting me, Amalia.
January 07, 2009
We both tend to run when we're hurting,
We both tend not to forgive and forget,
The past can't have a hold on us,
For you my heart will give its trust,
I'll dote as much of you,
Just need your love.
- Aly & AJ's I'm Here.
Today's post gonna be really really random and shitty okay. (;
I've warned you you you you!
But well, at least I took the time to post and keep my blog alive like, almost everyday.
That shows that I'm not L.A.Z.Y, people. :D
Girls.
1) Girls like being loved by someone rather than being in love with someone.
2) Girls understand Guys, pretty much well.
3) Girls would rather talk in circles than go straight to the point. (For Some)
Oh, Oh, the bestfriends are sitting in the same rows!
Wan Rezza / Xin Chee
Qazimah / Ain
Rasyiqah / Amalia
Anushka / Shidah
Rusydi / Rahman
Cool, right?
Hah, okays. Whatever ... wait, except for Afiq, sorry yep. :P
Had to stay in school after lessons ended at 1250 for the normal tech students.
I was so tired lah. Ate luch, the two babes accompanied me for lunch and they left along with Rusydi and Rahman for Airport to study/slack(?) i couldn't tag along cos i had to stay in for this CCA trial thingy thingggg.
It only started at around 2pm-ish. Went with Hadi and Zach because either Rasyiqah or Amalia wanted to stay with me. Rasyiqah and Amalia said sorry though. and I was obviously sad that they had to leave and me, missing on all the fun they are going to have. (sighs)
but, it is okay.
I needed company so i went searching for the two guys.
The reason there wasn't any girls because none of them got kicked out from their CCA's. I'm the only one. I got kicked out from band, fyi.
And i don't know why but i kind of missed band a little bit.
I miss all the scoldings. All the fun. All the bondings.
The seniors? Yeah, missed them too.
I missed ChenChen honestly. And, Ain. I don't know why. ChenChen's actually is nice to me but i just did not want to work hard so she's prolly mad at me or something.
So sorry, all. ):
I somehow want to like, look at band sometimes. I missed being in the AVA room.
I could still remember that i always walk home with Kok Wai or Ashikin or Ai Wei. Either.
And Mr Fahmi giving us $5 for Raya or something.
I missed band.
I want to look at it. I want Nabil to talk to me like he used to.
I missed it all.
I want to look at band, NOW.
But, i'm afraid i'd get scolded or something.
So anyways, back to what i was saying about thebestfriends.
I like it that Rusydi's always 'squinting' his face to give this 'cute baby' look. Which SO didn't work. It was fun laughing at him doing that face, though :P
We all partnered each other for EBS.
Rasyiqah, Amalia and I along with Rusydi and Rahman.
HAHAHA.
(:
I know.
Like, Hello. Like, Bestfriendssticktogetherthatkindathangyouknowduh!
Can you even read that?
If you can, good for you.
:D
So last night, Rasyad called. Like, my home? at 10+ can.
HAHA.
He called so late lah. But, still :P
I'm chatting with Ain (band) now. I missed her! Really.
i'm tried.
(;
tired of being the last to know ....
January 06, 2009
I
love love love love love love Alex Pettyfer/Matt Prokop & Taylor Lautner's eyes!
They are hot and they, too have super sexy eyes! :P
I likeee. :D
Inside, I can only hear you voice,
Ringing through the noise
I can't find my mind it,
Keeps on coming back to you
It all leads back to you...
It's so good to be
If we were meant to be together
By being so close
I'm ready to begin
The waiting has to end,
Right now,
Today, I have to find a way... - Demi LovatoYou're right. I can never at all get Until You're Mine by Demi Lovato outta my head. It's like, i'm freakingly stuck to that lovely song.
I love the meanings. It's really meaningful and it used to make me cry, AGAIN. Seesh, i should stop it with the cryings man. I'm annoyed.
I'm always crying, crying, crying over something shitty and not worth it.
Ala, who cares, no one would if i do.
So, i somehow enjoyed the day today at school. I obviously bonded with my friends except for when recess came about. Had a little tiff with Rasyiqah. Amalia agreed to whatever i said lah. Because, it is true, Rasyiqah. I love you, Amalia. It's not that i do not like you or whatever Rasyiqah, it's just that, with
them you act super different and 'wild' with us, you act, like how you usually are. I don't want things to change cos of something stupid.
Because, it, indeed is stupid.
She apologised after that and listened to me. (:
Qazimah , says (7:07 PM):
i dont know whats with me and ppls eyes lah.
Qazimah , says (7:07 PM):
ahahaha
Qazimah , says (7:07 PM):
so hot
Selynna. says (7:07 PM):
for me, it's all abt the hair
Qazimah , says (7:08 PM):
haha
Qazimah , says (7:08 PM):
really?
Qazimah , says (7:08 PM):
whats with hair anyways?
Qazimah , says (7:08 PM):
lol
Selynna. says (7:08 PM):
i dont know
Selynna. says (7:08 PM):
macam so..
Selynna. says (7:08 PM):
sedap.
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
HAHAHHA
Qazimah , says (7:09 PM):
SEDAPPPPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
MAYBE!
Qazimah , says (7:09 PM):
you makan his hair, isit?
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
:D
Qazimah , says (7:09 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
i think so
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
:S
Selynna. says (7:09 PM):
hahahaha
trtghbgfbjknkl. whatever, i dont care anymore.
January 04, 2009
if your dude ain't actin' right,
you tell that dude, he got to go ....
I don't know what is wrong with me!
I kept listening to The Pussycat Dolls, over and over again and singing to them.
It's like, i'm starting to LOVE them or something ... But i don't.
Yes, i do adore Ashley Roberts (the long haired blondie) but i shouldn't like them. THIS IS SO NOT LEGAL! HAHAHA. (That is so Rasyad)
(:
I'm starting to miss loads of things, Gosh!
I miss talking to Murni for hours online.
I miss talking to Rasyad.
I miss talking to Zul.
I miss conferencing with Zul & Rasyad.
I miss that meeting up with The Rocking Duos. (Zul & Rasyad) and having fun with them ... Laughing over the phone with them and talking about PCD at most times and stuff, badly.
I miss talking conferencing with Selynna and Faliq.
I miss that 6-clique outing with Rasyiqah, Amalia, Rahman, Rusydi and Afiq.
I miss Zahrah.
I miss Hadi.
I miss Atiqah.
I miss Nurin.
I miss Ain.
I miss the madrasah clique.
I miss Daniel, the mat who used to calm me down.
I miss everything.
Holidays are just so fun. Although alot of happy and sad things happened, i wish i could turn back time and see how it all happen, again.
Ohohohohohhh, I have a hollywood buddy. I have someone who talks hollywood with me during class! yay. It's Afiq! I can't believe he watches the Hills. He likes Audriana and I like Heidi & Lauren.
I can't believe he watches camp rock.
He hates the Jonas Brothers, though.
OMG. Guys are JEALOUS because they're never hot like the Jobro's, huh?
Eh,
cool! At least I have a hollywood buddy who talks to me in class about Hollywood.
And act Diva with me. :D - Not always.
I like. (;
My the other four never bothers about these kinda things.
I miss miss miss miss tons of stuff!
I miss talking otp with you!Dah lah, i'm hungry. Gonna eat now.
I MISS YOU PPL.
Really. ):
baby can't you see that i still do?
January 03, 2009
ALEX PETTYFER IS FREAKIN' HOT!I love his eyes ... his sexy eyes! Like, seriously. And, he too, is hot. Oh, FYI, He stars alongside Emma Roberts in Wildchild and his character is named, Hot Freddie Kingsley. Well, obviously HOT is the word!
i am hecka bored at home. I wanna go out ah. But i'm not allowed to since my family and I are going to meet Akmal and his family for his family chalet or something .. later at night.
Oh, this is really random and weird but I wore my brother's baggy clothes out. Like, twice. I'll wear them with leggings or skinny. And that is only because i'm too lazy to dress up.
I'll fix myself up with eyeliner, chunks of bangles and of course, not forgetting my Q necklace i bought.
Ohmy. I still want that name necklace! Badly!
Grrrr. ):
My uncles gonna get home from his Tokyo/Australia/America/Whadeva-Whadeva trip tonight. Yayness-ism. I so can't wait to see what he got me! :D
I really need to update myself on this Hollywood news and stuff.
Eh, i find that it's dumb for me to fall for punk rocker guys when i was younger. Those guys with tatooes and piercings and stuff. Yes, i fell in love with Joel Madden once and all the Good Charlotte guys one by one. Simple Plan guys too?
Addicted to Save You by Simple Plan. I always feel like crying whenever i listen to that song because it's a sad song. DUHHHH.
Can't stand it lah. I'll always get emotional whenever i listen to sad sad love songs.
I'll cry to it.
Yesterday in school, was fun.
We had to do this thing uh, we had to fill like, questions and stuff?
So there was this Question that says :
If you had a chance to make a wish, what would one wish be?my answer? - Live a Hollywood life.
What Do You Think Of The World?
Oh, You mean, Hollywood World?
(:
OMG. Do i not have a life that i'm always updating my blogggg?
Gosh.
So anws, Atiqah and I had this convo.
Read on.
ATT's (: says (3:19 PM):
it's just that, one thing in my life needs to be accomplish !
Qazimah , says (3:20 PM):
what is that?
ATT's (: says (3:21 PM):
a boyf. that's what it is !
ATT's (: says (3:21 PM):
hahahahah. i'm not taking desperate measures !
Qazimah , says (3:21 PM):
haha! same here. And, me neither.
Qazimah , says (3:21 PM):
Let's go boyfriend Shopping one day! - NOT! :P
ATT's (: says (3:28 PM):
how about you then?
Qazimah , says (3:29 PM):
Hmmm, i prolly am not going for any guys now.
Because i think it's not the right time for me yet and like, i also think this is the time for me to bond with my Cliques. (:
ATT's (: says (3:30 PM):
hahahah ! goood for you ! upgrade,"thumbs up" eh ?
Qazimah , says (3:31 PM):
HAHAHAHA. Omg! I so like that line! That is TOTALLY LAUREN CONRAD! (;
ATT's (: says (3:32 PM):
hahahha !
FUNNY!
January 02, 2009
Another Cinderella Story...
2ndJanuary2009
School. School. School. YAY!
First Day of School today.
Left the house and waited for the bus for freaking 15 minutes! I wasn't late for school or anything. I was just late upon meeting both Rusydi and Rahman at the school bustop. We're trying to make this our usual routine so that we can bond more and be open with each other. My idea! :D
Met Rasyiqah in the bus. That is so usual already. I'll tell her what bus i'm in and she'll take the same bus as me. If she or i, am late, we will wait for each other. No later than 10 minutes.
Supposed to be waiting for each other at the Bedok Interchange?
URGH. What. A. Chore. I have to walk all the way to Inter to go to school ... So i cancelled on the Interchange Plan. and said to them it's better to meet in school. But the two of them were nice today and waited for Rasyiqah and I at the bustop. (:
But as i thought everything will all go well, Rusydi called me and said they, Rahman and him wanted to go first because Rasyiqah and I were late. Because of me lah.
Freak the bus. It came late!
Met them in school.
As i entered school, i had like, 10 people who said Hi to me.
LOL.
So, ya.
It felt akward to know that we are all in the same class because we never were in the same class before except for now.
Sitting arrangements?
This year ... Amalia wanted to sit with Rasyiqah and Rasyiqah agreed to it. I'm fine with it cos i had all my time sitting with Rasyiqah last year. So, let Amalia get her chance to know what an Awesome friend Rasyiqah is.
I just felt great after school. It felt awesome to be with the 5 again. They are the awesomest.
Rasyiqah. Amalia. Qazimah. Rusydi Zulfadli. Abd Rahman.
Love you.
Okay, gosh.
I finally got over what i wanted to get over.
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
January 01, 2009
And I never knew I could feel that much, That’s the way I loved you...
1january2009.
I really am looking forward to school ... school, which is just tomorrow, i'm mentally prepared for it already so, it won't be that bad, i guess.
I've already gotten my school stuffs, first of all .... i've got the coolest pencil case ever. It's so cute. It is white but has coloured circles on it.
I realised that i bought a bag that most minah's carry with them and that is so not me. But, still. I have to use it and it's not that bad because that pink monster is there with the bag.
So it doesn't look too minah-ish on me. Thank You, Zul. That pink monster saved my bag and me from looking minah much. :D
I, too realised that my skirt is not getting any shorter. So i probably haven't been growing much during the holidays. -.-
I'm still a size two. So my feet haven't been growing, either.
OhMySheet.
And and, Phyras is so going to be in my school and Zahrah is going to get so jealous! (;
WAIT!
I want to thank people for the giftssssssssssss they have given me.
Zahrah, for that lovely pink ring and bangle. (birthday)
Amalia, Rahman, Rasyiqah for that sweet necklace, bangle and treat. (birthday)
Karisma for that necklace for my birthday.
Rasyad for that awesome Demi Lovato CD that i am still listening to.
Zul for that Wildchild CD and pink monster i really love!
Eh, for some reason, listening to You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift now, make me cry.
The Way I Love You by Taylor is also sad.
Thanks a Millon, Amalia, Zahrah and Akmal.
Thanks for checking on me all the time yesterday to see if i am okay, Amalia.
Zahrah, thanks for the lovely call that made my day. I know i cried too hard over a stupid shit reason that my eyes are still sore over crying, now ... But, still .. Thanks. You were there and gave positive comments over what i was crying about.
Thank You Akmal for texting me and cheering me up.
You're right.
All of you are right. I am so stupid. I am so stupid to cry over something shitty.
Thank you very much for everything.
I cried yesterday, for like, almost half and hour.
Zahrah cried yesterday for a few minutes.
Amalia cried yesterday, for i dont know how long.
WTH. Why do girls have to be so emotional and cry?
Didn't wanna say I'm sorry
For breaking us apart
I didn't wanna say It was my fault
Even though I knew it was
I didn't wanna call you back
'Cause I knew that I was wrong
Yeah, I knew I was wrong
One in the same
Never to change
Our love was beautiful
We got it all
Destined to fall
Our love was tragical
Wanted to call
No need to fight
You know I wouldn't lie
But tonight
We'll leave it on the line
Listen baby,
Never would've said forever
If we knew it ends so fast
Why did you say I love you
If you knew that it wouldn't last?
We'll leave it on the line
Oh and, read Murni's blog. (:
i hope school will be great for me and will make me feel alot better.
i totally cannot wait for the guys... i wanna laugh at them with their long pants on.
i'm imagining Afiq with long pants, right now. HAHAHA!
Boy how did I miss that smile, your style, your game.
