"I've been losing my mind, I've been living a lie, I've been running away for so long.
I try to put on a face and cover my heart but, I'm needing it now so bad..."

Lesley Roy's Unbeautiful, Thinking Out Loud.
Tamar Kaperlian's New Day, Britney Spears' Out From Under, Hey Monday's Candles, Demi Lovato's Until You're Mine, Girlicious' Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson's You Found Me, Secondhand Serenade's Maybe & Mandy Moore's cry brings a lot of signifcance to my life.
All these songs mean something.

All the songs remind me of the things I've gone through and how I overcame it or how my friends used to be by my side when I need them. Or when my friends were gone, some other friends came along and picked me up from where I fell. They were there for me. They listened to me. They helped me.

I have been through a lot of things this year. Friendship Problems were one of the biggest problems I had to face. It was really hard going through that one problem but I overcame it.
I talked things out and hopefully things will get better by the next year.

I went through changes. Everyone goes through that, don't they?
Drastic changes. It was so sudden. It came and went too fast that I was lost and did not know what to do. I tried changing things for the better but no one wanted that. Or maybe, they were trying to change themselves too but I did not realize how they change themselves for the better. I know people and things have to change. But i realize that I can never adapt to changes. It's hard to adjust yourself to the changes you see around you.

From five people, became four, then three and then two. And then just... Me.
Everything was rough. I thought all the problems might die down but it didn't. It was hard but i tried.
I could relate to all the songs I listened to.
It just was... what i needed.

Unbeautiful :Don't hang up, can we talk? So confused... It's like I'm lost.







I'm loving where I'm at. Everything's better, good. I'm calm. I feel better now that I'm out every predicament. Now i know that whenever something bad comes about, I should handle it in a calm and collected mode and never when I'm mad because I'll just explode there and then... I am temperamental and you can't blame me for that because, that's naturally me, that's how I am.
I show a quick change of emotions.
I can be happy one time, sad the next and angry minutes after that.
But I'm happy that I'm better now.

And I hope i will enjoy tomorrow since I'll be over to my cousins and they'll be coming over to mine :D




Got my hair curled,
My aunt spent like, a hundred on me today. Whoa much. Got my hair curled at some random salon and it took a total of three hours to get everything done, curl, wash, treatment. THREE HOURS.

Had to wake up at nine in the morning. Nine. In The. Morning....


My hair still reek of the treatment lotion thingy, nice (:
The curls are not totally obvious now. I hope it does not wear off. It'll wear off in a few months, of course. So, if it does, i plan to cut my hair short. Like how Selena's hair is now. I think.
I don't know. I've future plans for my hair now. Okay -.-

I LOVEIf It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember :D





"Some groups (cliques) stick together for a long time. Others drift apart after a while as people develop new interests, make different friends, or just find they have less in common. People can move in and out of different groups and can even be part of several at the same time. Even within a group, people often have one or two friends they feel closest to and enjoy the most."


"Big or small, it's actions that seem to count the most in friendship. In a time when we can chat effortlessly by text and IM, talk is getting cheaper. Many of you believe that the evidence of true friends is what they do to show their loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, or willingness to make a sacrifice when you need help."

Friendship isn't easy. To hear many of you tell it, making a good friend is almost like adding a new family member. It comes with risk and responsibility.

A true friend is a person who would really tell you how bad you look in that bright pink spandex suit, even though you really like it. (this sounds familiar, hmmm)

When Friends Move On,

Many of you learned the true value of friendship after it was gone. Lots of you urged people to work at their most important friendships, rather than letting them fall apart after a fight or fade away.

And for some, it was OK if good friends only accompanied them for part of their journey in life.





I shall start off by writing down something crazily random:
Huzyer just sent me a very very cute icon on msn and you bet it cheered me up!
So thanks, Huz. HAHAHA.

Madrasah today was err... (fill-in-the-blanks)
Went with Nadhirah and Insyira. Like, finally... the three of us together.
I didn't know what the heck i wrote, I copied whatever i could, i copied the questions and mend it a little as answers. -.-
Nadhirah did that too. I bet she she did :P



Can you please back off a little?

"Miley pakai push-up bras tau." LOL, that line's still playing in my head!

Bought shiny sliver flats from CottonOnz.
And a bloodyredlipgloss.
YAY (:


Trying slowly trying to pick the pieces back up.

Everything died down because everyone decided to go on their own ways. I can either sit back and watch them just fade away from me or i can try and make an effort to change this for the better. But i think, they have a part to play too. It's a team effort. One can't just work to change all. Everyone has to. To save a friendship. We obviously are drifting. I can't help but rant it all out because it hurts to think of it, sometimes. And it comes back to me, like smack on my face... on that i purposefully want to write this out...

I'm alright. It's okay, I'm so much better without youuuuuuuuu, it's alright, it's okayy.

You and me, we used to be together, every day together always.
I really feel, I'm losing my best friend, I can't believe this could be the end...
It looks as though you're letting go...
And if it's real, well, I don't want to know.
Don't speak, I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts.
Don't speak I know what you're thinking, I don't need your reasons.
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts.

Our memories they can be inviting.
But some are altogether, mighty frightening.
As we die both you and I, with my head in my hands I sit and cry...
It's all ending.
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
you and me, I can see us dying... are we?




Oh...

Wait, even if you knew, i don't think you'd care.
I don't think you'd do anything about it because, i know you won't.

Let's just see if we'll be together again.
I doubt not.

eh and...




"Bitch, plz."
"At least, i don't make others feel bad..."

Let's be happy okayokayokayokay :D

Come, dance in the dark.




You ruined my night so badly.

Thanks cousinnnnnzzz :D
I'll be sure to update you about it.






And i totally wanna get :
- a new jeans-looking tights,
- new flats
and probably,
-a haircut!





X: teach me a lesson on how to steal a heart says:
......

W: you... stab the person, thats how. (you steal a heart)


X: Eh, Miley pakai push up bras. HAHAHAHAHA.

X: Huh, serious?
Y: EH-EH, NAK TENGOK JERRR.
X: Hahahahahahah, tak la. Surprised.


you gave me everything that was false.
i told myself not to fall on that trap anymore but i still did.
i don't know what made me.
oh well, thank you very much for everything.

I'm doing Social Interview right now on Facebook because I'm bored.

i want you out of my head right about now.

i don't wanna remember anything that has got to do with you but things about you keep popping out... ALWAYS.
Why?
I don't get it la.
Heck.




HAPPY 45th BIRTHDAY MUMMMM (:
Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huhhhh.

An impromptu outing with Fouzan since we both got nothing to do at home.
Walked around and bumped into some... very interesting.... people.
Very very interesting people, trust me.

So Adli and Iqa are both at camp. Bedok North's Student Councillor camp.
And Adli's phone's battery is almost dying on him so he asked me to help him text Iqa to ask for an extra battery. How fun, right. Paderhal they're both at the same camp and different rooms and can probably text each other.
tsktsktsk.

Thank you Fouzan.
Eh, Minah Selynna! I wanna go out with you alreadyyyy!
When are you free man, babe?
Man, babe. -.-

School tmr, goodnight.







O-m-g, sec three camp's just like, what. Tomorrow?
I cursed in my head just now because I really wasn't looking forward to the camp. But harping about it now won't do any good. I can't escape it. I can't, anymore. So all I have to do is wait for tomorrow and hopefully, enjoy the three day & two night stay at Kota Tinggi. I'll watch the stars shine at night. I'll be with my friends, sleeping in a tent that will probably fit in four to five people in one tent. I'll be doing all the high elements (If i don't find any excuses to be out of it... Which i think, i totally should, of course)
We'll have to wake up real early and turn in real late.
Camps, camps, camps.
Whatever can I do? It's tomorrow.
You know, I won't be blogging about camp anymore till what, Friday or Saturday. So, this will be my last post.... about camp. So, be happy peoplezzz.
Lets see what the camp will do to me.
Good or bad.
Hopefully, good ones.





I so want to escape paintball and all the high elements during camp,
tyvm (:

Zul, I really know how you feel. I really do, and yknow i'll always be by your side no matter what, bestfriend. Cheer up, it's no fun seeing you so sad because it makes me sad, too.
D'you know i almost broke down just now when you voiced out everything about your late dad? I just don't want you sad anymore.
So, smile (:

And, ifah.
You've been the best to me. We're always calling each other up and you are always there for me. Oh, of course, I love you babe. I hope you get well soon (:
You know you will be better.

Huzyer, you too.

Selynna, my minahhh.
You should know how mucchh i miss you. I can't wait to meet you.

I have a throbbing headache.
I'm always very mood-swingy.

I shall have my tortillas and watch Disney to sleep again.
I can't help it, i love Disney so much. Aside from MTV and all the spoiled Hollywood shows i watch!

I love Secret Life Of An American Teenager, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Gastineu Girls, Nyc prep and Privileged, oh-so-much.


The one thing I'm really not looking forward to?

- The secondary three camp to Kota Tinggi.
I have never liked camps.
Oh well, I've no choice now. I HAVE TO GO TO THE CAMP.
GAH. (boring, boring! -.-)

Whatcha Think About That's playing in my head.
PCD, PCD.

Time check, 12.43AM.
Time to watch Disney to sleeeeeppp.
:D





I was waiting for so long, for a miracle to come.
Everyone told me to be strong, hold on and don't shed a tear.
Through the darkness and good times, I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all.
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears,
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears.
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun. A new day has...come.
Where it was dark now there's light, where there was pain now there's joy.
Where there was weakness, I found my strength.

Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come.

Yes, I was in primary two when i heard this song.
I read the lyrics and realized how meaningful the song is, now.