You suffocate me, you drown me out.
I'm tired of waiting without a doubt,
I feel like i'm fading, I flicker out,
My heart is screaming without a sound.
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around.
You and Me, my life would change in a second.
i don't know how you feel. You seem to keep it to yourself,
what i think you're just perfect.
We'll walk through to something more.
This is harder than we both thought.
We are more hurt than we appear and it is easier to fall apart.
Look where we are.
No one knows how i really, truly feel inside.
I don't know why i feel the sudden urge to want to study lah. That is so not me.
Went to the library with Rasyiqah, Amalia, Rusydi and Rahman after school today.
Typical.
'Studied', camwhored and stuff.
Rusydi was like, putting his hands over Rasyiqah's shoulder in one of the pictures! "DDD
HAHA. So sweeeeeeeeeeet! They look so cute together.
After all that happenings,
I felt lonely.
They were like, talking among themselves before they talked to me.
Rasyiqah obviously was talking to Rusydi.
Rahman was away, i don't know doing what.
Amalia was online.
-.-
Rusydi wanted to get his laptop from home then.
He asked all of us to accompany him to his house and i was like, NO NO NO. Because that is so wrong. And i was sulking all the way and almost crying because, because of Rusydi, Rasyiqah, Amalia and I fought. WTF?
Rasyiqah wanted so badly to accompany him.
Amalia doesn't see any wrong in being there, entering his house.
I don't like entering a 'guys' house without their parents around.
Forgive me for being so 'innocent'. I just don't like it at all.
It seem, wrong. Very wrong.
Me: If you want to go, Go lah. I don't want to follow. I'll either stay here or go back home.
(roll eyes)
Amalia: Eh, Qazimah, what is so wrong about it?
Me: Everything?
Rusydi: Qazimah, takpe lah kau tak nak ikut, me and Rahman will go ourselves.
Rasyiqah: Oi, Qazimah! Ikut jer lah. Ikut ah. (Pulls me away from them to talk to me in private)
She just wants to be with him lah. ALWAYS.
I rolled my eyes at her. Obviously.
So i kept my mouth shut all the way. They then knew how to apologise to me.
Gosh!
I sat at a corner and held my tears for the longest time.
My voice started to change.
Rusydi: Are you crying? Are you okay?
Me: (shakes head)
I don't know.
I couldn't stand the stress i was having.
It so sucks.
soon it all got better.
they all sent me home.
thanks guys, i guess.
(sighs)
it's a matter of time to confess it all.
